Who’da Thunk It

Before my current writing life, there was The Hilltop, Howard University’s and the Nation’s Oldest Black Collegiate Newspaper, where many of the questions and themes I still explore first found their voice. What follows are my early published works, preserved in their original form.

From The Hilltop Archives

Originally published in The Hilltop, Howard University — September 26th, 2003

__________________________________________________________________________________

Who’da Thunk It

I am sorry.

To my sister, my managing editor, my football rival, I am sorry, but I told you...

Oakland can't touch the Broncos. Oakland won't touch the Broncos. So you Raider fans, just let it go and walk away (if you don't know the movie, shame). 

Oakland gives a new meaning to retro. Forget a jersey, they're a throwback team. 

Jerry Rice, Rod Woodson and Rich Gannon-- let's be for real, their combined age is about 300 and they come out of the tunnel with walkers and oxygen tanks.

And what the hell is Jerry Rice doing with his hair? I know when you get old your mind is the first to go, but Jerry, a receding hair-line and braids? 

Give it up. You won't get a ring that way, just really, really bad helmet scalp. 

It would have been nice to have a close game but...ah well. I'll take a blow out because I was able to get some needed studying done.

And the Broncos play the Lions next week, ha and ha.

I know what y'all are saying, "It's only the beginning of season, itdon't mean nothing."

BS(profanity, gotta love it)

If there's one thing I've learned from running track for seven years, it's that you start strong, continue strong and finish strong.

The start of your race determines how you finish.

So for all y'all who think that the first few games mean nothing, don't make assumptions.

When you assume you make an a** outta you and me and I refuse to have anybody make an a** of me.

So 3-0 after week three and 14 to go, the Broncos are 'bout to light up the NFL.

I am not the one to make predictions because I was 3 points the wrong direction for the HU/HIU game. I quit. 

The Broncos going undefeated in the regular season and through the playoffs is wishful thinking and simply ludicrous (with the Tyson accent).

I'll take it week by week, one victim (I mean opponent) at a time.

And avenging two losses to the Raiders last year on Monday was lovely.

Being at Hooters the silence of Raider fans after the first three Broncos possessions was deafening. 

We all know that the Oakland fans are the wildest and that melancholy look was priceless.

It was like watching a kid drop an ice cream cone after doing the "I got ice cream" dance. 

It hurts something bad.

But, the Hooters food and the women made their troubles go away. 

I never knew Hooters had food like that.

I mean when guys say they go to Hooters for the wings they're for real.

I am not saying they are the best, but they are mighty tasty.

My only question is, with the popularity of the Hooters establishment, how come there's no chicken breasts and thighs on the menu?