CBS: Eye Poppin' TV

Before my current writing life, there was The Hilltop, Howard University’s and the Nation’s Oldest Black Collegiate Newspaper, where many of the questions and themes I still explore first found their voice. What follows are my early published works, preserved in their original form.

From The Hilltop Archives

Originally published in The Hilltop, Howard University — February 6th, 2004

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CBS: Eye Poppin' TV

 

 

Enough people, enough.

 

Y'all are still debating this like some six year-olds on the playground. I am going to squash this so it can forever and consistently be squashed.

 

When I picked up the Washington Post last Monday, everybody had something to say about the super bowl halftime show. However, it was the opinion of one columnist in the style section, who will remain nameless, that caught my attention. No offense to him, but his two cents aren't worth the zinc and copper they were minted on.

 

After reviewing the play, it has been determined that Mr. Timberlake's use of hands to the cleavage was in fact intentional and done for the sake of entertainment and ratings. The ruling by the FCC, CBS, MTV and anybody else is overturned. 

 

Thumbs-up to CBS for being on the their P's & Q's and cutting the cameras off so quickly. 

 

Remember how Tyler Durden spliced single frames of pornography into family films? Sound familiar? And what did Edward Norton's character say, "Nobody knows that they saw it, but they did...even a humming bird couldn't catch Tyler at work." It almost worked, Justin pulls off Janet's top, CBS fades to black and nobody's the wiser. The hand was quicker than the CBS Eye.

 

But, big ups to MTV for pushing the envelope to the extreme.What critics fail to realize is who they were dealing with. It was MTV who produced the halftime show, the same MTV that publicized "The Kiss" between Madonna and Britney Spears at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards. Word travels fast, but e-mail travels faster and by the time day broke, videos and pictures were already in circulation. The truth was out because people in this country are crazy, not stupid (wait, there is one person who's both).

 

Take a seat because class is in session.

 

Drama or change the channel? What America wants, better yet needs, is drama. This is a society built on drama. From celebrity gossip to the Department of Homeland Security playing Red Light, Green Light with the Terror Alert Level. Speaking of the T.A.L., doesn't Homeland Security remind you of Emerald City in The WIZ (the one with Diana Ross and Michael Jackson, not Judy Garland)?The color is RED, everyone. Be afraid; be very afraid.

 

I digress, this was the only year where I didn't want to change the channel during halftime. The dismal halftime shows of previous years sent me searching for something, anything to watch for 15 minutes. And networks took advantage of viewer discontent by airing alternate halftime entertainment. I remember a Celebrity Death Match Halftime Special, a Playmate Fear Factor and this year there was a Pay-Per-View Lingerie Bowl. The big names who performed this year ensured that viewers kept it locked on CBS. Especially after such a (yawn) sleep inducing first half that didn't see the first points until 3:05 left in the second quarter, a Super Bowl record.

 

CBS needed something to breathe life into the spectators who were in attendance and at home. Now, I am not insinuating that it was a last minute decision, but whatever the case may be, accident or intentional, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake's stunt added a spark that the Super Bowl needed. Yes, there was another scoring drought in the third quarter, but the 4th quarter saw three lead changes, the most points in a Super Bowl 4th quarter (37) and a game winning field goal with :04 seconds left. Drama.

 

Let's move to the second part of this discussion, the commercials. I didn't get to see too many of them, but the ones I did see sucked. 

 

To quote the Style columnist, "Many of the other Super Bowl commercials seemed conspicuously inappropriate for an event that is a national rite and the kind of rare TV attraction that brings families together in front of the set."

 

Wouldn't it be a great (I sound like Andy Rooney) time to air commercials with substance and quality to enlighten families? Wait, Moveon.org, a voter fund, tried to buy a slot, but were rejected by the extreme, right-winged idealists at CBS who viewed the ad as negatively portraying Bush. 

 

I know, let's use the power of advertising to keep people ignorant. It's better to keep the masses preoccupied with sex (Levitra and Cialis), flatulence, alcohol, violence and drugs, keeping them farther from the truth because it hurts. Leave it to the government to decide what's good for it's people.

I am through. These are just my opinions. Y'all have minds of your own. If you want to find out for yourself check out the winner of the Bush in 30 seconds, a political Ad contest on www.moveon.org. Tread a steady course grass-hopper, the groundhog...I mean watchdog FCC, Homeland Security and whoever else are keeping their EYE on you.