Joker, Joker, Deuce, Ace

Before my current writing life, there was The Hilltop, Howard University’s and the Nation’s Oldest Black Collegiate Newspaper, where many of the questions and themes I still explore first found their voice. What follows are my early published works, preserved in their original form.

From The Hilltop Archives

Originally published in The Hilltop, Howard University — March 12th, 2004

__________________________________________________________________________________

Joker, Joker, Deuce, Ace

Have you ever taken time to sit and watch EPSN's broadcast of The World Series of Poker? Well I have and I say damn...

I thought watching a golf tournament without Tiger was boring. How wrong I was. 

I don't play poker, better yet, I think gambling is an addiction. Anything that you have no self-control over and makes you lose sight of reality is unhealthy. For the record, Sony's Black Box is not an addiction. Ask any male; it's a healthy way to pass away the hours of the day. We don't have a problem.

But this World Series of Poker is bananas. It's the biggest poker game in history. It's A five- day, 839 player game where the winner walks away with $2.5 million. That's impressive. 

But, here's something I bet you didn't know; there's been talk of a World Series of Spades. That's right, Spades. 

Now spades is as much a part of black culture as soul food and Kool-Aid. I don't care where you're from; there's no excuse why you shouldn't know how to play. For those who can't, con't be scurred, just ask; I promise we won't laugh...that hard. 

The only true way to play is joker, joker, deuce, ace. Whoever designated the two of diamonds as a trump card needs to be shot.

Y'all know the rules: first hand bids itself, no talking across the table and if you re-nig, we get four books, not three. We know how to count cards and you should know better.

This World Series of Spades is going to take the game to a new level. Not only is it the choice game of black college students; it's going international. 

Binion's Horseshoe Casino, the host of the World Series of Poker, has made plans to hold regional games in participating cities where pairs will compete to earn one of the 125 spots and a trip to Las Vegas...

Naw, I am playing. I had y'all going.

For real though, I see a trend where the government, mainly the Bush campaign, is incorporating the structure of spades. I don't believe in conspiracy theories; it's Twenty-04, we're talking strategic tactics. 

The way I see it, John Kerry is wasting his time and money; The Bush administration is trump tight. 

Let's follow the suit: Bush cut hearts in 2001 and has been re-nigging since. He proved he was a Jack of all trades convincing the masses that a war on Iraq was necessary, pulled his Ace out of the hole, literally, in December's capture of Hussein and is adamant about marriages between a Queen and King only.

Now it's down to the thirteenth book. Bush bid six and made his. Kerry went seven. Come August, September, October... Hell, I'll give Bush 'til the first of the November to play that Big Joker...(come on, y'all know who).

Let's just say Kerry is set. He's a fool thinking he's going to win. The government's playing for keeps.