Your Pusherman (Revisited)

It is 4/20 and the 2010 baseball season is well under way, so in honor of those who are taking part in illegal activities today (both smokers and MLBers), I thought it only proper I dig through The Hilltop vault to find one of my archived favorites…
Ahhh, here it is.
*blows off dust*
The scary thing is, I wrote this column almost 6 years and two months ago to the day.

I'm your mama, I'm your daddy, I'm that brotha in the lab. I'm your doctor when you need. THG? To build your speed. You know me, I'm your friend, your main boy, thick and thin. I'm your pusherman...
Why get higher, when you can go faster and be stronger? These dealers ain't pushing cocaine or heroine. Matter of fact, you won't find them on the corners or in the alleys. Their prescription is for instant success and fame. What disappoints me, they're undermining the spirit of athletes and giving my sport a bad name.
Sprinters Kelli White and Chryste Gaines, hurdlers Sandra Glover, Eric Thomas and Chris Phillips, 4x400 meters relay gold medalist Calvin Harrison and hammer thrower John McEwen have tested positive for detectable banned substances, like modafinil, not to mention the countless others who remain under the radar.
Addicts, whether they reap the benefits first-hand or vicariously, experience denial. Which is why Bud Seilig and Paul Tagliabue have assured us that baseball and football don't have a drug problem. We all know the first step to recovery.
But, you gotta love this country and the beauty about the drug profession. Innovators and geniuses will find ways around The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency and The Food and Drug Administration testing because this is a billion dollar business.
It's tetrahydrogestrinone (THG) baby. A new age steroid that, up until a few months ago, was completely undetectable. Just ask Dwain Chambers, World Indoor 1,500-meter record holder Regina Jacobs and U.S. women's hammer champion Melissa Price, who were the first (definitely not the last) to test positive.
Let's take a step back. In order to understand the steroid issue, we have to view it in a much larger scale: the trafficking industry.
Millions, if not billions, have been allocated to stopping drug cartels for decades. If drugs support terrorism, this country can't end a problem when terrorists are in greater supply here than aboard. The Four Fathers, I am not claiming them, founded this country on illegal practices. Why stop now, it's working so well. The economy couldn't be better. Jobs are available in every sector of the market and the children are learning more than ever.
Try this on for size: if the government is serious about getting illegal drugs off the street and ending the negativity surrounding it, try something different like legalization.
Follow me:
Trafficking is an industry that follows the characteristics of a business, a system based on consumers, demand and supply. People purposely engage in activities because they're illegal, thus increasing the appeal and demand of narcotics. If you eliminate the demand, you eliminate the consumer.
Let's say cocaine production was regulated, distribution and taxation were controlled and the middle-man (pusherman) was removed. Then the appeal and pure satisfaction of the drug, crime and corruption would decrease.
But that's just a theory and there's no money in the cure of such an epidemic. The muse of Gustavo de Greiff, former Attorney General of Columbia, speaks through me.

Your Pusherman

The Hilltop, February 24, 2004

What have I learned in these six years? We have all been lied to. I have not changed my positioning; in fact, I have added more to my pontification:
1) The government should highly (pun intended) consider the economic benefits of legalizing marijuana. Discussed here -> 4/20

2) Not only should the MLB legalize steroids, but they need to create a separate league for steroid users. In this Steroid Major League Baseball*, players will get the best stuff their money can buy and their bodies can handle, they will be allowed to juice in a controlled environment, scientist's innovations will be off the charts and the debate over whether steroids improves a player’s game will end when the MLB champion plays the SMLB* champion. This is my utopia. It is a much better place than this culture of instant gratification that has created a society of users and abusers.
Why would anybody want do it the hard, time consuming way when life is full of shortcuts?

No time to go to the gym and work out, it’s ok, “there’s a pill for that.”
No time to cook healthier meals eat right, it’s ok, “there’s a supplement for that.”
Is the old-fashioned way of doing things played out, it’s ok, “there’s an app for that.”

I too am guilty of wanting shortcuts. In an attempt to add an extra minutes to my day I bought that NuWave Oven thing. You know? The NuWave Oven, that appliance that will replace your household oven because it cooks food in half the time.

Infomercial: Are you to busy to cook a wholesome meal for the family?
Me: Yes I am.
Infomercial: Do you hate the hassle of waiting for your food to unthaw?
Me (sitting up straight): Why yes, yes I do!
Infomercial: Has cooking become just a tiresome chore for you?
Me (leaning closer to the TV): It sure has!!!
Thinking to myself after intently watching the entire hour infomercial: This thing is amazing. It uses Conduction, Convection and Infrared cooking power. I wish I knew what those things meant. It has been years since I took a science class.

All I knew is the food looked great (on TV) and I needed one. You know how many times I’ve used it since I got it on rush delivery at the end September? Three. Yep, the lure of the infomercial got me. To this day, it is collecting dust on top of my refrigerator.
We have all been duped at one time or another by this quick-fix society. If you think you have not, let me take you back to '98. I watched the homerun chase more closely than anybody and only tuned out when McGwire and Sammy broke away from Griffey Jr.
Twelve years later, all that power, all that strength, all that ability that was on display was a faux. Of the MLB’s 15 all-time homerun hitters, seven are legends who I never got the privilege to see (Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Frank Robinson, Harmon Killebrew, Reggie Jackson and Mike Schimdt), six are fakes and juicers (Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, Alex Rodriguez, Rafael Palmeiro and Manny Ramierez) and to this day, only two – Ken Griffey Jr. and Jim Thome – have remained clean.

The only shortcuts I choose to take are the ones for helping me operate my MacBook faster and even then I feel horrible afterwards. I say the playground chant that still haunts some children needs to be our rally cry:

"Cheaters never win, cheaters never win!!"